7 Ways to Let Go of Resentment



by Janet Brown

Human beings are dynamic as we have the ability to heal, physically and mentally. The body is continually repairing and renewing itself to survive. If we cut ourselves using a knife while cooking, we don’t think twice to cover the cut with a plaster in order aid in the healing process. The same can be said if we were involved in an accident and blood was pouring from a wound, no questions would be asked we’d go straight to the hospital. The notion being the specialist medical team would be able to care for us to aid recovery.


The process of our thoughts is powerful enough to interfere with body’s natural function to heal. The mind tells the body how to react to the emotional feelings we have. For instance being overweight is seen as a physical state because it shows on the body. We might also link it to the types of food being consumed and not enough exercise being taken. These can all be contributing factors, but the matter can be a psychological one. The person’s association with food, being a deep rooted emotional issue attached to low esteem.

The mind stores data inputted, without clearance, negative thoughts will remain in the subconscious.

The mind stores data inputted, without clearance, negative thoughts will remain in the subconscious. These effects all choices made, keeping us in a repetitive cycle of being stuck. Imagine if we practiced forgiveness on a regular basis shredding negative aspects and moving forward.


Where others have wronged us the intent to hold on to this is the fear if we let go, they go scot-free. We do not consider the damage we are doing to ourselves. We take on anger, frustration, resentment, blame which is eating us up and can cause diseases within the body. Forgiveness takes time and depending on the severity of the situation and trauma caused.  Take note that there are different stages of the healing process, going deep can be painful and you may want to stop. See it, as clearing stagnant water which has hardened and must be removed for you to be at your optimum. A qualified counselor will be able to assist you.

The same can be said for the resentments we hold about ourselves and others we have wronged.


    1. We can choose to forgive by not engaging in conversation with someone, by forgiving them and releasing them from our minds. 
    2. Writing a letter about the issue (don’t need to post it) and freeing us from the situation.
    3. Implying kind words to yourself –about who you and where you want to be. State I have forgiven myself of the situation ... It is now in the pass.
    4. Visualizing yourself being free of pain and in a happy state.
    5. Deep breathing methods like stretching exercises
    6. Consider taking up a sport that you can use energy to get out pent up feelings – running, kick boxing, aerobics, Tai Chi, Badminton.
    7. Find supportive methods – like counseling, coaching, self-development classes/courses, support groups.

      You may have completed a combination of improvement activities to support your healing.  Use whatever suits your needs. There is no one size fits all.  There isn't a magic wand to solve the matter, it is work in progress.

      Acknowledge that challenges will arise but having faith in the strategies will see you through. Don’t forget to reward yourself every step of the way.

      Originally published May 2014

      5 tips on moving forward after pain and rejection - let it go and create space for growth.