5 Things You Tell Yourself That are Holding You Back

COURTESY OF KELSEY AIDA

COURTESY OF KELSEY AIDA

by Kelsey Aida

We all have our doubts and insecurities. Heck, we’re only human! Especially as women, it can be hard to stay positive all the time. I mean, between juggling the roles of perfect partner, sister, friend, mom, girlboss, and person… How do we do it?!

Well, today I’d like to share a little tip to take some of the pressure off. A tip that, if you fully commit to, will totally transform your whole life.

You ready?

It’s simple, but it’s life changing, so make sure you really soak this up.

Change your thoughts, change your life.

That’s it! When you change your thinking, you change your whole life! With that being said, I’d like to point out some of our most common “wrong thinking”. Thoughts that hold us back from our fullest potential. Because our thoughts create our reality, which makes what we think pretty damn important!

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For each negative thought listed, I have also provided an alternative (a “cure if you wish), a positive affirmation you can use to reprogram your mind and life. If you find yourself struggling with any or all of these thoughts, use the empowering affirmations as often as needed.

Here are five of the most common things we tell ourselves that hold us back in life. Let’s see if you can notice the one thing they all have in common…

1. I am not _________ enough.

“I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not talented enough. I’m not skinny, tall or worthy enough.” Sound familiar?

As women, it’s easy to believe what society says about us, that we are never good enough in some form or another. The messages of “not good enough” are everywhere! But just because that’s the norm, doesn’t make it true!

In reality, you are so enough it’s not even funny. You were born enough and you will always be enough, without even having to be, do, or have anything other than yourself. Just the fact that you exist, makes you enough. You are enough. Time to own it!

What to affirm instead: I am enough.

2. There is never enough.

“There is never enough time, money, men, cake…” These thoughts of scarcity and lack all come back to the anxious thought of there not being enough to go around. But the universe, just like you, is infinite and so are its supplies.

When you believe there is never enough, it will seem like the truth because the law of attraction always proves your beliefs to be true. But when you believe in abundance, abundance you shall have!

What to affirm instead: There’s always more where that came from!

3. Life is happening to me.

Feeling like the victim of your own life? Like you’re a character from A Series of Unfortunate Events? Well, you’re definitely not alone in that popular mentality, but you sure are incorrect. Because life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you (an important distinction).

Every trial, tribulation, and seemingly endless storm is for your greater good. You just can’t see that until you’re on the other side of it. Think about it, how many times have you already survived something hard and became better for it? This is life. It has contrast to make the good stuff that much better!

What to affirm instead: Life happens for me.

4. They don’t like me.

There’s two things I have to say about this (all too common) self-doubt.

The first is, who cares if they don’t like you! Not everyone is going to like you and that’s O.K.! In fact, you don’t want everyone to like you because that probably means you’re some sort of people pleaser and have lost touch with your true self in the process. Like the famous Aristotle once said, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Do you really want to “be nothing”? Didn’t think so!

The second is this: Other people hold the mirror to how you feel about yourself. So, if people are acting like they don’t like you, it’s only because deep down inside, you probably don’t like yourself. The good news is, this is something that can be resolved, through self-love (the answer to pretty much everything).

What to affirm instead: I love myself and that’s all that really matters.

5. I can’t.

If you can imagine it, you can do it. Heck, even if you can’t imagine you, you can still do it! Do you think Oprah thought she was gonna be who she is today when she was young, poor, and being abused? Unlikely.

You can do anything, literally anything you set your mind to. Don’t let your ego, or anyone else for that matter, try to convince you otherwise. This life is yours for the taking. In the words of the lovely Audrey Hepburn, “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’m Possible’!”

What to affirm instead: I got this!

The bottom line is, all these hindering thoughts stem from one single cell, fear. Fear is the main theme these all thing all have in common. Fear of not being good enough, fear of scarcity, fear of life itself!

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The funny part is that fear isn't even real. It’s all an illusion of our mind. Fear is something your ego (that mean little voice inside your head that you think is you, but really isn’t) makes up to help “protect” you from possible “life-threatening” change. At least this was the purpose for our ego back in the olden days, when survival was our number one priority. But nowadays, our egos just get in the way of us achieving our biggest, wildest dreams because they are always putting us down and hold us back! 

So next time you’re tempted to give in to one of these thoughts, remember that it’s just an illusion of your ego. It’s not your truth. Your truth lies in the positive affirmations that I listed in opposition to each of the five fears.

You are enough.

There is always enough to go around.

Life is happening for you.

Self-love is the only thing that matters.

You can do it.

For more help with positive affirmations, I just wrote a whole book on them called #ActuallyICan: The Art of Affirming Yourself to Greatness. In it I teach you everything you could ever need to know to get affirmations to actually work for you and there are hundreds of positive affirmations for manifesting financial freedom, self-love, radiant health, you-name-it! You can learn more here or purchase a copy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Kelsey Aida is a next generation thought leader who teaches people how to own their power and win at life. She is the inspirational blogger behind kelseyaida.com and author of #ActuallyICan. Check out her blog to get empowered, inspired, and totally in control of your life!

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