I Struggle With Achieving Success

Woman Laptop Browsing Searching Social Networking Technology Con

by Carla Thomas

I recently hosted a Twitter Chat where I tackled the topic of "Girl Power" to commemorate Women’s History Month. It was an awesome conversation about the lack of current girl groups, being a feminist, competition among women and the ridiculously silly “Ban Bossy” campaign – one that is clearly more about white privilege than young black girls being called bossy. While all the participants of the chat made me laugh and think, one comment really stuck out to me.

Being Envious of Other Women 

We talked about women being envious of one another and everyone was being completely honest in the chat. My one homegirl said that in her life, she has only experienced envy twice: once as a child when a family member received a gift that she wanted and again at nineteen when her ex-boyfriend started dating someone else.

I then became envious that a person has only experienced envy twice. I couldn’t see how it was possible, especially since I know we both know extremely dope people making moves. Then I realized it’s just me.

I struggle with success that I can feel bouts of envy when I see young people making the moves that I long to make.

Dealing with Career Struggles

I am Kanye-frustrated when it comes to my career. When people suggest that I change careers or provide their two cents about my career, I want to yell at them, “You ain’t got the answers!” It is an everyday struggle trying to build a brand, come up with content, promote, and engage with 3,000 Twitter followers when I’m really an introvert. And no one really talks about the loneliness that entrepreneurs face.

Being an entrepreneur means long hours and solitude. I understand that not everyone will understand or respect my vision but it’s disheartening to not have friends or family members truly comprehend what I’m creating and trying to build. Friends don’t get why I left New York City to come back home and live with my parents to write. And sometimes my parents don’t exactly get what I do on the computer all day in my childhood room.

Then there are times when I don’t get what I’m doing... times when I question myself and my choices. There are days where I’m like, “Yass! My website did great numbers, things are moving!" And then the very next day when my site numbers are stagnant, I sink into a depression where I have to go to the gym to work out and off my thoughts of doubt.

Regardless of the days and my emotions, I just keep going.  No one said success was going to be easy and I’m learning to enjoy the process. I understand the struggle is between ambition and patience.  I have the ambition that gets me up every day but I know it’s all about God’s timing. I am closer to my breakthrough than I think.

Updated: September 2016, originally published March 2014.


 

Carla Thomas

I am a writer. I am currently working on my autobiography and a book series for teenage girls, which teaches them how to navigate middle school with style and grace. I have completed an original script that I’m shopping around in Hollywood, watch out Shonda Rhimes! More from Carla.